This one is gonna be tough... Not only because I am writing through blurry eyes as I hide my tear soaked face in the airport... but also because it is a goodbye and I have never been great at those.
The thing that I realized is that it doesn't hit you 'til it hits you. and luckily I got to spend my last few days in Chile in a state of denial. But now, something that our professor, Ken, recently said keeps coming to mind. That is that he always has a fear come over him around the time he leaves Chile because he is scared that he will never see these people again.
Currently, I am having a similar feeling. However, instead of fear I am experiencing a sadness that is forming an empty space inside of me which didn't exist until today. I now know this hole is the new and special place in my heart that is for my host family who was more than I deserved, as well as the smart and amazing teachers I worked under at CCSP. From the moment I got here to the moment I left, before even knowing me and then after actually getting to know me...these people treated me like one of their own. They cared about me and gave me unwavering emotional support that made me feel so welcomed in a country that speaks a different language both verbally and non-verbally. To some people like me who aren't used to it, the constant kisses, hugs, and invasion of personal space from strangers can be overwhelming. But instead, it was one big therapeutic hug that I didn't realize I had been craving.
Growing up and becoming an adult in your early 20's can be tough, confusing, and lonely no matter how many people are around you. This is what I had become used to before this trip, and at first I fought my loss of autonomy upon arriving here. But what I didn't know is that getting in touch with who I was as a child is now helping me reconnect with who I am becoming as an adult.
Therefore, this is an open thank you letter to all of my new friends and family that I gained during this trip. Thank you for accepting me, making me feel like I belonged, and most of all for loving me. I will forever laugh, cry, and smile at the memories we have made here, and I will always feel the lingering impressions of the "see you later" hugs we had at the end of these 3 weeks. I look forward to one day feeling that hug again :) But until then... Hasta luego, Chile! see you soon!!
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| What every sleep deprived, sad girl needs to get her through a day of goodbyes and flights back to the U.S. |
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